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WE DID IT AND YOU CAN TOO!
I quit smoking with my friend Dominique. I smoked alot less than her pack
a day habit but we both decided to quit together. We went on the nicotine
patch to combat the cravings. It wasn't easy and sometimes we were as
bitchy as two gerbils in a cage with a bad case of PMS during a heatwave
with no cable tv and poorly fitting shoes! But after a few weeks we started
to feel better and didn't need the patch anymore. We started going on
longer and longer walks and feel so much better now!
BEFORE
While we were smoking we looked
like this! Yuck! We were one stinky ugly looking bunch of
addicted monkeys!
AFTER
Now we are glowing and
glistening with healthiness! Yumm! We are looking good!
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Together we have
saved $ /100
dollars since we quit smoking! That ain't chump change,
chumps! Be smart...quit now and buy cool fun
stuff!
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CATS
DON'T SMOKE! YOU AREN'T A CHIMNEY!
Think of the money you will save by not having to buy tobacco,
lighters, ashtrays, matches etc. No more standing in line at the corner
store behind all the other losers buying smokes, lottery tickets and king
cans of beer!
Your costs for cleaning clothes, carpets, and
furniture will go down because you don't constantly smell like a wet
bathmat on a campfire! Your clothes last longer because you won't be
constantly washing them to remove the stench of a 3am death tavern!
Your sense of taste and smell will be enhanced so everything is so
much sweeter. You don't have to chew so much gum to hide the fact that
your breath smells like some troll who lives under the autoroute!You will
enjoy your food so much more...when you add some Chipotle Tobasco sauce to
your eggs it will taste freakin' great! You won't have to soak everything
in salt and ketchup and MSG just to taste something!
You will look and feel
younger! Notice how all smokers are looking like a cow's ass chap! Plus
you can walk up a hill and ride your bike further and your new bedroom
mojo will turn your partner on like a 500 watt lavasexlamp!
Smoking causes
wrinkling and the appearance of premature aging so by quitting you avoid
looking like an old yellow kleenex!
No more yellow teeth or fingers
- that is just plain disgusting.
You'll feel proud of your ability
to overcome something so challenging and to free yourself from the slavery
of being chained to a murderous tobacco industry that wants your money and
kills you while you give it to them! Cigarettes will no longer control
your life and it's fun to mock and ridicule smokers who are having phlegm
filled coughing fits!
You will be setting a great example for
children and be more like a role model and less like of a vile plaguelike
cretin!
No need to worry about which restaurant you go to or
whether you can smoke in a particular place because you can go anywhere
and remain calm and focused without getting the heebiejeebies and having
to stumble outside to spank the monkey!
No more nagging from people
asking when you're going to quit because now you can bitch to your friends
and family about their smoking and that, baby, is some Sweet Poetic
Justice!
Home
Yeah
that's right ... now I'm like a crazy Lee Marvin Cigarette Nazi hopped up
on cheap pharmeceuticals! DEAL WITH IT!
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