DID IT AND YOU CAN TOO!
I quit smoking with my friend Dominique. I smoked alot less than her pack a day
habit but we both decided to quit together. We went on the nicotine patch to combat
the cravings. It wasn't easy and sometimes we were as bitchy as two gerbils in
a cage with a bad case of PMS during a heatwave with no cable tv and poorly fitting
shoes! But after a few weeks we started to feel better and didn't need the patch
anymore. We started going on longer and longer walks and feel so much better now!
While we were smoking we looked
like this! Yuck! We were one stinky ugly looking bunch of addicted monkeys!
AFTER Now we are glowing and glistening
with healthiness! Yumm! We are looking good!
Together we have saved
since we quit smoking!
That ain't chump change, chumps!
now and buy cool fun stuff!
SMOKE! YOU AREN'T A CHIMNEY!
Think of the money you will save by not having to buy tobacco,
lighters, ashtrays, matches etc. No more standing in line at the corner store
behind all the other losers buying smokes, lottery tickets and king cans of beer!
costs for cleaning clothes, carpets, and furniture will go down because you don't
constantly smell like a wet bathmat on a campfire! Your clothes last longer because
you won't be constantly washing them to remove the stench of a 3am death tavern!
Your sense of taste and smell will be enhanced so everything is so much
sweeter. You don't have to chew so much gum to hide the fact that your breath
smells like some troll who lives under the autoroute!You will enjoy your food
so much more...when you add some Chipotle Tobasco sauce to your eggs it will taste
freakin' great! You won't have to soak everything in salt and ketchup and MSG
just to taste something!
will look and feel younger! Notice how all smokers are looking like a cow's ass
chap! Plus you can walk up a hill and ride your bike further and your new bedroom
mojo will turn your partner on like a 500 watt lavasexlamp!
causes wrinkling and the appearance of premature aging so by quitting you avoid
looking like an old yellow kleenex!
No more yellow teeth or fingers - that
is just plain disgusting.
You'll feel proud of your ability to overcome
something so challenging and to free yourself from the slavery of being chained
to a murderous tobacco industry that wants your money and kills you while you
give it to them! Cigarettes will no longer control your life and it's fun to mock
and ridicule smokers who are having phlegm filled coughing fits!
be setting a great example for children and be more like a role model and less
like of a vile plaguelike cretin!
No need to worry about which restaurant
you go to or whether you can smoke in a particular place because you can go anywhere
and remain calm and focused without getting the heebiejeebies and having to stumble
outside to spank the monkey!
No more nagging from people asking when you're
going to quit because now you can bitch to your friends and family about their
smoking and that, baby, is some Sweet Poetic Justice!
right ... now I'm like a crazy Lee Marvin Cigarette Nazi hopped up on cheap pharmeceuticals!
DEAL WITH IT!